so 6 months after i stopped chemo i was in the same place i was when i started it a year and a half ago. talk about rain on a parade. however there was no time for a pity party. my raging lesions required action.
my first inclination was to start chemotherapy again. it stopped the lesions in their tracks the last time, and i pretty much felt well during the treatments too. the thing about chemo as a treatment for autoimmune disease is that you can only be treated this way for 3 years...ever. i've already used 1 year. and since we know it works i want to have it in my back pocket for emergencies.
my other treatment options were tysabri, rituxan, and gilenya. all pose risks. gilenya may cause problems with the heart. i do experience heart palpitations often, so my neuro and i were quite weary of that one. tysabri and rituxan pose risk of PML, and since i've tested positive for the JC virus both had me quite nervous. the risk of PML is higher with tysabri so i focused in on rituxan.
additional information that helped sway my decision was the fact that rituxan is used to treat other autoimmune diseases like RA and Lupus. ding, ding, ding! i feel in my heart that whatever is going on with me is not just MS. it's lupus too. i think that is why a drug used mostly for MS didn't work for me.
so i went with rituxan despite the risk. rituxan is one infusion that lasts 9-18 months. it's a biological agent that wipes out your b-cells which is part of your immune response. and since it is not a chemical, you can use rituxan indefinitely as long as it is working for you. not sure some of the people in my support system agreed with my decision. they thought the risk too great. but it's a risk to do nothing too.
the truth is i've never been one to shy away from anything. be it a challenge, an adventure, a dare. in fact if you tell me i can't do something or i shouldn't do something, chances are i will do it anyway. it's not in order to prove someone wrong. more to prove something to myself. the minute i believe there is something out there that can stop me, i think that's when it starts to become the truth.
it was a leap of faith, but i took it.
it's been almost a month now, and i feel pretty darn good. the pain and burning has stopped. additionally, i'm not dealing with any side-effects. i'm looking forward to recovering from this relapse and finally getting back to yoga and other exercise.
feel free to email me if you have questions about rituxan or MS. i'm happy to share :)
ms cannot stop me ~ j
